RELATIONSHIP TIPS FOR A STRESS-FREE 2012 (or as close as possible!)

Hi Everyone!  Welcome to my new website!  We worked hard to make the site user friendly and we welcome any of your comments.

We had a great Christmas, all of my five kids were home!  And in typical Leman style, we had fun.  It’s great to have kids who love each other and love us.

Can you guess who is who?

At this time of year everyone is talking about resolutions for the coming year.  So I thought I would take time this first blogpost to give you some suggestions to make sure that your relationships with those you love most are strong and healthy!  I am sure many of you made a resolution to be a better parent or spouse… If so, leave a comment, tell me your goals!

Tips for parenting: 

1. Watch your expectations, make sure they are positive and not negative!

2. Make sure your kids get enough Vitamin E (encouragement) and some very essential Vitamin N which is No! Remember, if you love your child, you will disciple them

3. Rules are important but not the only thing that is important, relationships matter most!

4. Have fun with your kids, laugh at yourself, use the words, “I am sorry”

5. Finally, to put it bluntly do not take any disrespectful act from your son or daughter without significant consequences!

Kids have a need to please you.   They don’t like it when Mom and Dad are unhappy.

As important as relationships are with our kids, the more profound relationship is with your spouse!  Now, realizing that many of you are single, stay with me because there are tips for you to come. For those of you who are married, here are some thoughts to make this year as close to stress-free as possible.

Tips for your marriage:

1. Ladies, remember he is the SIMPLE one!  As I have said many times, think of him as a four year old that shaves! His needs are simple.  He needs to be needed and wanted by YOU!

2.Guys, understand that your wife majors in relationships and communication.  She has the need to hear from you.  She wants to know your feelings that you have about, well… almost everything in life!  She needs to feel like your lovingly affectionate at all times!

3. We spend money on everything under the sun, I wonder how many of us invest our time and our money in our marriage? Want to do something for your family this year, take time to be a couple, enjoy a date night, consider joining next year’s Couples of Promise Cruise! Those kind of investments play dividends for generations.

4. Do your marriage a great favor and make sure that your spouse and your relationship take precedence.

 Tips for relationships (including those of you you are single!):

1. Don’t “should” on yourself — When you “should” on yourself, you are really putting down the masterpiece that God created in you. You truly are a one-of-a-kind!

2. If you have a critical eye– that is to say that you can spot a flaw, especially in the ones you love, in less than 10 seconds…. give it a rest!   And rather than pull up the negatives, look for the positives and use the words, “Good job!” “Nice going” and “I bet that makes you feel good inside!”

3. One more thing, if you want to see a relationship with someone you love improve dramatically, in less than 48 hours, stop asking questions!  It’s like magic.  On that note, tuck the “why” word away and watch the relationship change before your eyes!

Two of my favorite scriptures come from St. Paul — Where in Ephesians 6, he says “Children obey your parents, it is the right thing to do!  Because God has placed them in authority over you.”

And in the preceding chapter, Paul writes these profound words, for those of us who are married, “Honor Christ by submitting to one another.”   These imperfect people that surround your life are God gifts for you!  Handle these relationships with care.

I have said many times that marriage and parenthood is not easy, but it is simple.  God does have a simple plan for our marriages as well as for the journey of being a good parent.

As a welcome to my new website, I thought I would start with a Giveaway! This one is simple. There are only TWO things you have to do to enter.

1.  Use the buttons below to share this post with your friends on Facebook and/or  Twitter.  Invite your friends, help us get the word out about this new site!

2. Leave me a comment on this post!  Tell me your resolutions this year.  How you are going to strive to be a better parent, husband, wife, son or daughter…etc.. Or just tell me what you think about the new site!

Friday afternoon I will select a winner, at random, to win 3 autographed books (Now, the books need to be in stock!) Don’t forget to give your email in the comment section so I can get a hold of you! 

I wish you all a great  2012.

Comments

  1. My most important New Years resolution is to be more in tune to my husbands needs. He is an amazing husband and has accepted a lot of responsiblity when we got married almost 2 years ago, stepping up to the plate to be the spritual leader of our family, an incredibly loving and compassionte husband, and Daddy that my 3 girls have always needed. I’ve never seen someone work so diligently in making sure a step family runs so smoothly, helping each child, praying with them, playing with them, loving them. In addition, we both have had to spend a lot of time with the newest baby girl in our family….who tried to come early and then was born with an eye condition that has already required 2 surgeries. My point in saying all of this…is that HE has spent SO much of his time devoted to us, and he does not express needs of his own. This year I want to learn how to observe his needs, even if he doesn’t express them…..and to honor and love him in the way he needs me to. We already have a wonderful marriage, but he deserves so much more! Thank you Dr Leman. My husband loves to read your books. I hope that I can win a copy…just for him! (And I want to read it too…LOL).

  2. Margie Warren says:

    I have enjoyed your books to help me raise my two boys while my husband was deployed for over a year and a half of their lives! I am so excited about this site and already telling my friends!

  3. Misty Wheeler says:

    I am striving to be a better mon in a house full of hormones and a better wife to my overworked hubby. I could use your help!

  4. I recently had my second daughter this summer and I am now at stay-at-home mom once again. My resolution is to be the best for them that I can. Give them a happy, fun childhood and be there as often as I can.

  5. I’m working on some of your parenting tips, especially 1 & 3. Praying the rest of my family learns those 3 words at the end of #2.
    Thank you for being so awesome, Dr Leman. Love ya

  6. my life is so much chaos. i so long for order and stress free relationships esp in my home. i need to be intentional and not just regret all that i do and should on myself. thanks for this reminder and i hope i can really put these thoughts into practise.

  7. Thank you for the reminders … we can all use them!

  8. Brooke Peck says:

    I am very thankful for all of your wonderful advise.

  9. Debbie Minkle says:

    I am ready to stop letting my 17 year old daughter run our house and create havoc in our family. Just finished Have a New Teenager by Friday and have started the transformation. Thank you for kicking my butt and relieving my guilt.

  10. I just had a good chuckle reading some of your website. You remind me of my own dad, but more importantly, of my Heavenly Father. Thanks for the Good News you are spreading! God likes to use people for His glory…as long as we’re willing to try! : )

  11. Eileen Deskins says:

    I’m excited to see that you have a blog… I hope it reaches more people too! I’ve loved your books about parenting. (Have a new Kid by Fri. and Have a New Teen by Fri.) I have twin duahgters that are 13 soon the ‘hormone group’ as you say has been quite a transition for us. The advice in the books has helped me tremendously but my husband isn’t a reader and isn’t so convinced. We can pray about that LOL! Also, not sure if birth order applies when thereis only 7 minutes betw the kids!

  12. 3 out of 4 sucessfully launched. I thought it was time to coast through this last ones senior year. Lesson learned: Parents never get a chance to coast, and its never too late to become a better parent by seeking out help.

  13. I love your “get right to the heart of it” attitude! I think I need to read “How to Have a New You by Friday” now! I need an overhauling LOL!!!!! Everything you say is so common sense and easy to understand. Love the website!

  14. I resolved to let Jesus grow in me, more of Him less of me..and to allow love to find me if God so wills this year :)
    looking forward to new things in Christ…

  15. Zeebusymama Heather says:

    I am a second born, but the first born girl and at the same time a middle child; who married a second born/baby boy! Which according to you is a FANTASTIC Match- I happen to agree!! 12.5 years under our belts, and some amazing adventures throughout! I love all you have taught me over the years about myself and our 4 precious children, and basically about everyone around me. I aspire to a godly wife and momma, but I don’t take myself very seriously! We love to have fun around here. My kiddos keep me hoppin’ as I homeschool my oldest 3 (9, 8 and 5), my delightful 2 year old BOY will cause all sorts of havoc, and in traditional baby boy fashion keep us completely entertained ie. Dr. Kevin!!! I have learned so much and love to share what little I know with whomever isn’t completely exhausted from hearing! Blessings on your new website, may it open your knowledge up to numerous new learners!

  16. my major goal this year is to give myself a break from perfectionism with my job as a wife and mother.

  17. Becky Prewitt says:

    Want to practice speaking some kind of encouragement to my husband and kids at least once a day. This is not my gift and I usually forget about it as soon as I decide to do it.

  18. Becky Prewitt says:

    FORGOT MY EMAIL in my previous comment.
    beckyprewitt@gmail.com
    Want to practice speaking some kind of encouragement to my husband and kids at least once a day. This is not my gift and I usually forget about it as soon as I decide to do it.