RELATIONSHIP TIPS FOR A STRESS-FREE 2012 (or as close as possible!)

Hi Everyone!  Welcome to my new website!  We worked hard to make the site user friendly and we welcome any of your comments.

We had a great Christmas, all of my five kids were home!  And in typical Leman style, we had fun.  It’s great to have kids who love each other and love us.

Can you guess who is who?

At this time of year everyone is talking about resolutions for the coming year.  So I thought I would take time this first blogpost to give you some suggestions to make sure that your relationships with those you love most are strong and healthy!  I am sure many of you made a resolution to be a better parent or spouse… If so, leave a comment, tell me your goals!

Tips for parenting: 

1. Watch your expectations, make sure they are positive and not negative!

2. Make sure your kids get enough Vitamin E (encouragement) and some very essential Vitamin N which is No! Remember, if you love your child, you will disciple them

3. Rules are important but not the only thing that is important, relationships matter most!

4. Have fun with your kids, laugh at yourself, use the words, “I am sorry”

5. Finally, to put it bluntly do not take any disrespectful act from your son or daughter without significant consequences!

Kids have a need to please you.   They don’t like it when Mom and Dad are unhappy.

As important as relationships are with our kids, the more profound relationship is with your spouse!  Now, realizing that many of you are single, stay with me because there are tips for you to come. For those of you who are married, here are some thoughts to make this year as close to stress-free as possible.

Tips for your marriage:

1. Ladies, remember he is the SIMPLE one!  As I have said many times, think of him as a four year old that shaves! His needs are simple.  He needs to be needed and wanted by YOU!

2.Guys, understand that your wife majors in relationships and communication.  She has the need to hear from you.  She wants to know your feelings that you have about, well… almost everything in life!  She needs to feel like your lovingly affectionate at all times!

3. We spend money on everything under the sun, I wonder how many of us invest our time and our money in our marriage? Want to do something for your family this year, take time to be a couple, enjoy a date night, consider joining next year’s Couples of Promise Cruise! Those kind of investments play dividends for generations.

4. Do your marriage a great favor and make sure that your spouse and your relationship take precedence.

 Tips for relationships (including those of you you are single!):

1. Don’t “should” on yourself — When you “should” on yourself, you are really putting down the masterpiece that God created in you. You truly are a one-of-a-kind!

2. If you have a critical eye– that is to say that you can spot a flaw, especially in the ones you love, in less than 10 seconds…. give it a rest!   And rather than pull up the negatives, look for the positives and use the words, “Good job!” “Nice going” and “I bet that makes you feel good inside!”

3. One more thing, if you want to see a relationship with someone you love improve dramatically, in less than 48 hours, stop asking questions!  It’s like magic.  On that note, tuck the “why” word away and watch the relationship change before your eyes!

Two of my favorite scriptures come from St. Paul — Where in Ephesians 6, he says “Children obey your parents, it is the right thing to do!  Because God has placed them in authority over you.”

And in the preceding chapter, Paul writes these profound words, for those of us who are married, “Honor Christ by submitting to one another.”   These imperfect people that surround your life are God gifts for you!  Handle these relationships with care.

I have said many times that marriage and parenthood is not easy, but it is simple.  God does have a simple plan for our marriages as well as for the journey of being a good parent.

As a welcome to my new website, I thought I would start with a Giveaway! This one is simple. There are only TWO things you have to do to enter.

1.  Use the buttons below to share this post with your friends on Facebook and/or  Twitter.  Invite your friends, help us get the word out about this new site!

2. Leave me a comment on this post!  Tell me your resolutions this year.  How you are going to strive to be a better parent, husband, wife, son or daughter…etc.. Or just tell me what you think about the new site!

Friday afternoon I will select a winner, at random, to win 3 autographed books (Now, the books need to be in stock!) Don’t forget to give your email in the comment section so I can get a hold of you! 

I wish you all a great  2012.

Comments

  1. I am looking to be more involved with my kids this year. Reading, crafts, conversation, all of it. I also want to make sure they laugh well every day.

    I want to be more supportive of hubs and help our relationship grow in Christ this year!

  2. Tracey Swartzmeyer says:

    I resolve to pray with my wife each day.

  3. I’ve been listening to your book How to Make your Children Mind without Losing yours, and my goal is to help my children to understand that we are disciplining them in love, while still making sure they feel respected and loved. Also, as a wife, I’m going to try to be a lot less negative despite the stress in our lives – and to focus on my husband as my partner in all of the craziness.

  4. Clar Lyn Morris says:

    Plan to love that sweet guy of mine more—celebrating 40 years soon!

  5. I love the new site! But then again, I love everything you do! Thank you for helping me want to be a better wife, mother & friend and then of course showing me ways to do just that!

  6. emily nelson says:

    My resolution is to get healthy and slso to be a more patient mom. Love your books and website :)

  7. Love your insight. Just finished your How to have a new teenager by Friday…. I am looking forward to finding a “balance” between parenting styles. Both my husband and I are authoritarian parenting styles… My poor step son– no wonder he is the way he is– He is a good kid over all just has issues with any authority, not just his dad and me. We need to lower the bar.

  8. Great blog, Dr. Leman! One of my resolutions is to be more positive with my kids. I have a “critical eye” and know it hurts relationships. So, here’s to a healthy, positive 2012!!

  9. Thank you for everything you do! Your books have been such a huge part of getting our family on the right path! I am very excited to see you create a new website.
    I resolve to become a more consistent parent, a more supportive wife, more content with my circumstances, and more close to God! 2012 is going to be a great year!

  10. Kristine Thomas says:

    I want to have more fun with the family

  11. I love your new website!!! We love you!!!!!

  12. Wendy Wagner says:

    I am going to speak to my children in a positive encouraging way rather than nit-picking the minor details. Even when I give boundaries/discipline, I want to rephrase in a way that lets them know they have a choice rather than feeling controlled. I hope to inspire, with the help of the Lord, my teenage daughter to turn back to Him. wagner_b@hotmail.com (Wendy Wagner)

  13. Michelle Lyter says:

    Love the pictures of your family and love all your great advice. Keep it up!

  14. Great blog! I am looking forward to 2012 as God has blessed me with a wonderful husband and great kids to enjoy the new year! I am hoping to make MANY changes this year with God’s help! God bless you and your family!

  15. I think I’m really gonna enjoy this website. Thanks. I do have a critical eye and am just too picky. You know, I want things done my way–’cause of course that’s the right way!! LOL I am trying to learn not to be so OCD (I think that’s what you call it). My New Year’s resolution is just to be kind, KIND! I am a loner and not very social. I’m also shy , so many think I’m stand-offish. Pray for me! Love your books!

  16. Shared on Facebook. Love the new site! My resolutions are about the health of my family, I think it will be the foundation for all the changes we need the Lord to make in our lives. Not just physical health but more importantly spiritual health too.

  17. Marcie Fischer says:

    The new website looks great. I really appreciated the blog and I will definitely be back, Love the family pictures!

  18. Lori Thomas says:

    Thanks Dr. Leman for the cool new site! I love you wit and wisdom…Its going to be a great year as I use tools I have learned from you to raise Rock Solid Kids!!!

  19. Gregg Williams says:

    Striving this year to succeed by not making everything so complicated. No means no, praise Him and them (kids), and everything discusses better behind a smile…..a little sugar may come my way as a result. Happy New Year!

  20. Hi Dr. Leman -

    Great job on the new site!

    My only resolution that I have (I generally don’t make New Year’s Resolutions) is to continue on the path to becoming debt-free. It is a goal with a plan that my wife and I have worked out and are following.

    Thanks!
    ~Tim

  21. Love your new site. My first new year resolution is to finish reading “The Resolution for Women” by Priscilla Shirer and go from there. :)

  22. Nicole MacRae says:

    This is gonna be a great site to keep updated on. I look forward to the next blogpost. Shared on facebook too. Loved the first post!.

  23. Jennifer Klemple says:

    I just love your parenting help. I have ready so many of your books and am such a loyal follower. Thank you for all of your help!!!

  24. Great advice Dr. Leman! Look forward to many more posts like this one! PATIENCE!! I really want to learn to be more patient with my husband and my children in the coming year and years to come!!

  25. Lisa Johnson says:

    I feel so blessed to be able to look to you and others for such wonderful marital and parenting advice. Keep up the good work! My main resolution this year is to get closer to God so that I can be a better wife and mother. With help from resources like yours I really feel this is possible. Thank you.

  26. I’m so looking forward to getting tips from you on your website! I have had two years of not so great stresses in dealing with family. I love your approach to parenting. It makes my job more effective but easier at the same time. Thank you Dr. Lehman.

  27. Janice Grek says:

    I’m really thankful for your new site! All your stuff is such good stuff, and more needed than ever!

  28. Cathy Updegraff says:

    Hi Dr. Leman,

    Happy New Year and congratulations on your new website and your first blog, awesome! I always look forward to hearing you speak and reading your books and gaining new insight and wisdom into marriage and raising children. Our family goes to North Way Christian Community out in Wexford, PA and e have enjoyed hearing you speak everytime! My husband and I are so blessed with the 2 children He has blessed us with, we have a daughter, who just turned 24, who is a Christian and just recently got engaged to a Christian man who she met at church and a son, who just turned 21, and is a Christian. They are precious gems.<3 Thank you for your blog and I look forward to reading more!

    Sincerely,
    Cathy Updegraff

    • Dr. Kevin Leman says:

      Cathy! You are the winner! Congrats– Thank you for your comment and kind words. Please call my assistant Debbie at 520 797 3830 to receive your autographed books! Thank you again.

      • Cathy Updegraff says:

        Hi Dr. Leman,

        Thank you sooooooooo much, I still cannot believe I won! I am so excited! You are such a blessing to so many with who you are and your wisdom and insight into raising children in a Godly way and having a Godly marriage!Thank you again and thank you for sharing with all of us! Happy New Year!

        Cathy Updegraff

  29. I resolve to be a more consistent encourager to everyone in my family. I also resolve to make sure my husband knows he is #1 on this earth.

  30. Cindy Arpin says:

    My goal is to be more positive with my comments to my loved ones! Gotta remember to pause and use the edit button! Thanks for the blog! PS We have enjoyed the Coules of Promise cruise twice now- and highly recommend it!

  31. Jo Turner says:

    I really like the new web site Dr. Leman. It’s very easy to get around on it, and I like your family pictures and the picture of you in the funny baseball cap!

  32. Love the website and I love all of your books! I don’t like to read and I love humor – so you keep me in your books because you are wise and funny. I have learned much for you and all of my family has benefited from you. So, keep writing, keep being funny and I’ll keep reading!! (No pressure!) :)

  33. Dr. Leman,
    Thank you for sharing this site and so many of your words of wisdom with us all. I needed to read this this morning. We have 3 children. A classic first born 10 year old girl, her polar opposite and our second daughter, the 7 year old, and a 2 year old boy…… Girls are form my previous marriage but we are defiantly a family.
    My service dog, who doubles as our faimly cuddle buddy, an 8 year old lab mastiff mix was just diagnosed with Lymphoma. Right now our world is upside down. Chemo once a week, pills throughout the day every day, hand feeding to get the dog to eat. Our whole family has a cold. My husband is going to school 2 nights a week. I’m disabled and can’t drive. Its easy to feel overwhelmed. I am resolving to keep things in perspective this year. And to stop asking why!

  34. Nichole Clouse says:

    I resolve have Family Home Evening EVERY week. To teach the gospel at home and at church is so important. Conisistancy is also. Thank you so much for all of your insight. Everything I have ever used that you have said has worked, except my picky eaters. I share your teachings with everyone, even the attendant at the gas station when I seen her son disrespect her in front of everyone in the store. I love your books because they are easy to read, funny, and work.

  35. Jennifer Mann says:

    I have read some of your books, used to watch you on TV, and love your new website. I respect your ideas not because of your phychology degree only but because you are a parent also. I have 5 kids as well teens to a 5 year old so your books have been a god send. Thanks for giving me the tools to grow in my faith, closer marriage (once we started dating again after having kids), better mom. In the new year I want to make more time for family fun activities, be a more supportive spouse and a better listener as a mom.

  36. Karen Hornsby says:

    I love the new site!

  37. Jennifer Bille says:

    You’re so wonderful. You make it sound so easy. I’m learning to pick my battles and encourage more. I appreciate all of your support. Keep it coming!! :)

  38. Vickie Searan says:

    Mike and I have been together two years come March, He does everything for me, yes the simpler the better, I personally like simple myself, we just went through a bout with his health, month and half long but he is up and around. I get down he does things to keep me from doing them. I think my resolution here is to keep things the way they are. He doesn’t criticize about anything I do, except when I am sick…I am keeping in mind to show him how special he is to me, I tell him so.
    Thanks for the new website you have lovely family, God bless….

  39. We’re a blended family who has finally pulled it together the last couple of years. This year, I plan to enjoy the love and peace we all feel towards one another and rejoice in the fact that quitting was never an option but love and respect were always on the table even when we didn’t much feel like it.

    Thanks for the blog! Looking forward to some great advice as well as the usual smiles and laughter!

  40. Sandie Anderson says:

    I already can’t wait to read the next blog.

  41. I will stop asking my husband questions and i will laugh with my kids learn to listen & love them more & not complain

  42. Julia Waneka says:

    Congratulations and thank you for launching the site. I really find your advice to be truthful and practical–which is somehow hard to come by. Will be checking back often!

  43. Love your new blog! I just got How to Have A New Teenager by Friday right before Christmas and haven’t gotten to read it yet. So my first goal of 2012 is to read it and implement all the wonderful things in it! Already have the other 3 Have A New books by you! And love them! Thanks for all you do!!!

  44. Hi Dr. Leman!

    On this Happy 3rd day of the New Year, I have goals to declutter my house, organize (without perfection or paralyzation! ha!) my art room and help our family finances by cooking at home more so as to eat healthy and spend money more wisely. As a result I see this as an opportunity to pour more quality time into my family.

    Thank you for sharing your heart and experience through your writing… when I get those books (Speaking prophetically, teehee!) I promise to share your books with friends and moms that appear frazzled in the grocery store. :o) darcy.lynn.white@gmail.com

    Blessings!
    Darcy

  45. I want to b more involved in lil boy who’s only 5 years old. We had a baby 8 months ago n I feel almost a little guilty about not being able to b there for him all the time like it was before the baby. I want to learn to manage time. Still get Everything done n have time for both kiddos. I kno it will b a success, i have faith. N I have the most amazing boyfriend. We support each other n help each other :) . Life is good.

  46. Audra Clinkinbeard Hernandez says:

    Love the new site and love the information you had to share. My focus this year is on my marriage. My husband and I have been separated for a year and a half and he just moved back in. Still lots of work ahead of us but with the Lord by my side, it will be a better marriage then the last 15 years were. Looking forward to reading more on this site. Love the family picture!

    • Dr. Kevin Leman says:

      Audra, God bless you….Good luck….Have you read Have a New Husband by Friday and/or Sheet Music? Those books have helped hundreds of thousands of couples! Nice to hear from you. Our family sends you our very best!

    • Loli Pretorius says:

      Audra, pls. read Sheet Music pls pls. When i found this book , my marriage was at an end. Sex? with that scoundral? My body was on auto drive. But with the good Dr.’s help, and perserverance, i can say I am now passionately in love with my husband… body… spirit… and soul!!!!!!

      And let me tell you, i am of conservative, legalistic “Christian” upbringing. (When i read the chapter titles i blushed and looked to see if anyone was watching :)

      Well, only after that book did i start reading many of the others, and my life is completely changed.

      Buy it today…no one is watching :)

  47. Rebecca Loaiza says:

    I resolve this year to follow through better–with all aspects of life. Love your teaching, Dr. L. Thank you and may the Lord bless you.

  48. Melissa DAOULABANI says:

    My relation with my parents and siblings is absolutely horrific, but I’m learning and growing daily, my husband and 5 year old triplets are the blessings in my life reminding me of God’s love and promises, and encourage me to do better with my family. Thanks for all your teaching and experiences

  49. This year I am going to get some order and balance back in our home. This past year brought about some huge challenges and big changes and my family needs some structure!

  50. Jolynn McCormick says:

    This year one of my resolutions is to have Family Home Evening each week with my family-This is time we spend together learning more about Jesus and learning values etc-it is time we set aside each week to be together as a family and learn with an activity.

    I am excited for the blog-thanks for all of the great advice to make our families stronger!

  51. Bill Holmes says:

    I resolve to close my mouth and open my ears; to close my eyes and open my heart.

  52. Shane Bowes says:

    I’m looking forward to making my relationship with my wife better. She’s the best thing to ever happen to me and I want her to know it this year!

  53. I am getting more organized in all areas so that I can be a better wife and mom! Thanks for all your no-nonsense advice!

  54. Meredith Drake says:

    The new website looks great. Once again, I am determined to be more patient and consistent with my kids. Your books have been so helpful. I refer to them all the time! Thank you for all you do!

  55. This year I resolved to read my Bible at least 4 times a week.

  56. Donna Corey says:

    Im so thankful for my family but here recently there Hans been things that my oldest son is doing that is bringing me closer to God,putting me on my knees!! my New resolution is to be a better parent and wife that’s Gods wants me to be,learn to be a little less controlling and be more like things happening on Gods time !! Just want to grow more mature in the lord !!!

  57. Sarah Ballenger says:

    My resolution is to stay off the computer and spend more time communicating with people face to face.

  58. Amanda Thompson says:

    2012 – Keep it Simple… follow God’s lead… focus on my family – spouse and kids and then positive relationships that grow and challenge me… have date nights and family nights…work with my husband to get out of debt….declutter the house…..

    Love your blog… great perspective for a New Year… God has big plans for us… want to follow His plan and be an example for those around me…. Thanks so much!

  59. Great website! My resolution is to make changes in my life that will help me be less critical of others around me. I can only change myself to love others unconditionally. The rest is under God’s control!

  60. Great site….As for this new year…I want to be less of me and more of HIM! Be a better wife and to become a different kind of mother to my adult children!

  61. Katherine Dunkle says:

    I an going to try to be more patient! With my children, husband and myself! The site looks great!

  62. Wenda Cannedy says:

    Love your Books. When i started reading The Birth Order Book I had to laugh. I’m the baby of the family. When I first started reading your book, the first thing I did was look thru the index to find the part about me, chapter 9. The first two sentences said I know you just skipped the first 8 chapters and started right here. I started bursting out laughing. Yep Thats me! Love your books Dr. Lehaman. Thank-you so much.
    Wenda

  63. I love the website! I look forward to the new year and seeing how I can be a better wife, mother and friend!

  64. I really loved reading this because my husband and I have navigated alot in the two years of being married, and just how I tell him all that he does wrong, and the twenty questions…My new years resolution is to stop and allow God to be God because I’m not.

  65. Jennifer B. says:

    Love the new site! My resolution is to be a better mom, wife and daughter by studying the word of God more this year.

  66. There are always improvements we can make in our relations. To keep them strong and growing. I have found your advice practical and fun! A good combination for building stronger family ties.

  67. Cecilia Yi says:

    Your work gives me hope whenever I read it. Thank you!

  68. We have no new year’s resolutions, however, we have some goals that we will be writing down to achieve by the end of the year. This year we started a new tradition; on New Year’s Eve, we wrote down all of our accomplishments for 2011, to remind us why we are celebrating the end of the year. So, on New Year’s Eve 2012, we will evaluate how close we came to achieving our 2012 goals. :D

  69. Jose Valdovinos says:

    My new years resolution is to spend more time at home with my family and have dinner together most days of the week.

  70. Derek Valenzuela says:

    Dr. Leman,

    As a fellow first born I am resolving to listen for longer then a few seconds to my wife each night as she pours over every single detail of her day. We have a 22 month old we adopted who is awesome, but takes a lot of time and Emily (wife) is pregnant with TWIN GIRLS due in June. Pray for me!
    My wife is awesome and needs more attention and time this year so I want to give her the gift of an attentive husband. Learning from your books would definitely help.

    I actually have read quite a few of your books and others on relationships. You don’t have to sign my books if you don’t want to. I sign all the books I read pretending to be the author. I write something like “Derek, you are a way better husband then me, you don;t even need this book Sincerely – Dr. Leman.” My wife thinks its weird but I think its funny. derekv@cbsconnect.com

  71. My resolution is to help my family eat better. It amazes me how our diet so affects our moods.

  72. Areas I want to work on include being a better role model for my children-especially the one who seems to mimic me. I am considering going to school again & praying for direction regarding this. As for my marriage, my husband recently acknowledged to me that I ask ‘why’ often. I didn’t get it, but after reading above, I’ve decided to take the 48 hr challenge work to establish new habits. I want to take the time to examine what I’m about to state and see if it’s really necessary or if I can rephrase it positively. As for your website, it’s pretty easy to navigate on my phone but to fully enjoy the changes I’ll look again from a computer. Thanks for the redesign and New Year blog.

  73. Julie McDaniel says:

    Excited about the new website! Always looking for more words of wisdom….much needed in the teenage years of parenting! In 2012, I want to be more focused on the blessings in my life. I too, tend to see the negatives first at this parenting / marriage stage….but not going to this year– with the help of God centered people in my life!
    Thank you Leman family!

  74. Congratulations on your new site! This topic is one that is of great interest to me. You spoke at a marriage seminar my husband & I were at a few years ago, and we both enjoyed it so much!! I love your humor that just ties in so perfectly with your message(s). As far as a New Years’ resolution–I actually had a pretty bad year last year & am anxious to get this one going in a much better direction….with myself (exercise/lose some weight for sure, work on my relationships–all of them, but on the top of my list is with my husband and our children–it is going to be a much better year!!).
    Thank you Dr. Leman for doing what you do!! This world needs so many more men like yourself–maybe you could be ‘cloned’. Just kidding on that one. But seriously, this is a pretty scary world we live in, and having kids (we have a 20-y/o daughter & a 16 1/2-y/o son) keeps you going…..lots of prayer–that’s for sure!!
    Dr. Leman, I would like to personally ask for your prayers (and any advice you may have) for us–with our son. He’s 16 1/2 and strong-willed….we have a lot of challenges with him, and not only is it taking a toll on us as parents, but on our marriage–tremendously!!
    Thank you again Dr. Leman! God Bless You and your family!! May this New Year bring you all an abundance of blessings and great health!!

    P.S. I wasn’t sure if I needed to give this to you again–
    since it is above, but just in case–my email is: kidzrspecial@sbcglobal.net

  75. I love this website! A friend of mine shared it on Facebook and I agree with everything written! I do tend to be a little critical (okay, a LOT) toward my husband and kids. I do need to lighten up. For 2012, I didn’t make “resolutions” because those tend to be dismissed after a week or two. Instead, I made “commitments”, because they are more permanent. In 2012, one of my commitments is to be a better Mom and Wife by spending more time with my family. I want to have fun with them and show them that they are valuable to me. I don’t think I did a good job with that in 2011, so I’m thankful that God has given me another year to try again.

  76. Kerry Adams says:

    My new years resolution is to be a better me! I want to be more patient with my kids and with my husband. As well I would like to be a healthier me and lose a few pounds :)

  77. This is great, a big eye opener, I can be so critical, I needed to read that and my husband would thank you for writing about be critical….can’t wait for more

  78. I didn’t make any resolutions this year, but chose to just do it! We have so many choices in life, but how many of us actually do the act of choosing. Because I am now making the conscientious choice to start choosing, I have actually slowed down to think things through (which was a resolution I had almost every year). I have chosen to listen to my spouse and children. (which was another resolution that went something like “My resolution is to spend more quality time with my spouse and children.”) And I have chosen to be healthier. (which will forever be a work in process, so I don’t bother making that a resolution every year!) Happy New Year everyone!

  79. Tammy Daves says:

    I would like to be more positive in my family life!

    Thank you for the giveaway and all your great advise!

  80. Diana Pacific says:

    I shared on fb. I truly love reading your books and have several. The last one I read was ‘Have a New Husband by Friday’. It works! We are empty nesters who are expecting three new grandchildren this year (a set of twin girls at that). We have two grandsons, so that will be 5 total! And we are only in our 50s! Got any books on grandparenting in the making? haha. Our new years resolutions are, with God’s help, to live debt free, to be a good example of marriage to our children and to others, to make sure we ‘smell the flowers’ even more along the way … and to read your blog! :) Happy New Year to my favorite author!

  81. Sarah Swearingane says:

    I’m trying to be a more patient and understanding wife and mother. I have a tendancy to get very frustrated and lose my temper over some of the dumbest things. I hope to change that. Thank you for starting this site. I look forward to following you both here and on facebook.

  82. Rhonda Calvert says:

    Thank you so much for all you do. I received your new book “It’s Your Kid Not a Gerbil” and am enjoying it tremendously. Previously my favorite book of yours had been “How To Make Your Kid Mind Without Losing Yours” but now I am not so sure. :-) Love having you on Facebook and hearing you on various shows. I love how straight forward you are and truly try to take your info & commit to memory. My husband and I have a 4 year old, 2 year old, and another on the way – all boys…We need all the help we can get. God has truly blessed you with a gift and those of us in the trenches of parenting truly appreciate it.

  83. Louise Hoeppner says:

    I didn’t make any resolutions this year because they tend to revolve around weight and well that just hasn’t happened ever so why set myself up to fail again!!
    Love your tips fpr parenting and marriage. I am trying to crack down on the disrespectful remarks…need to be more creative in the dicipline I think! Love your books, thanks for sharing your wisdom :)

  84. Love your first blog. I’ve followed and read your books for years. What I would love to see are tips geared towards young adults/college age kids. I have trouble with how to discipline that age (or whatever it’s called at that age). I can’t find good advice on that age when they still live at home while attending college. Thank you for all you do. You’re the best! My email address is : momonthego1@cox.net

  85. Wendy Brunner says:

    This is the year of relationships for us. teaching our three boys that that is what our family is about. Both within our home and reaching out to others. Specifically my husband and I are purposing to invest in the relationships with our kids that are most difficult. Mine with our first and my husbands with our middle-est. We are going to focus on dates one on one as well as identifying what it is our family most loves to do together.

  86. Jaina Cakebread says:

    My goal for this year is to be more positive. I love the tips. Thanks for all of the wisdom that you share!

  87. Katie Kuehn says:

    My resolution may sound simple, but it’s the 3rd and, so far, it’s anything but easy. I have resolved to listen more than I speak.

    Thank you, Dr. Leman, for all your work. You spoke at my NPU graduation, and I have read a bunch of your work since then. You have helped my future husband and I greatly!

  88. Kimberley Shank says:

    You are right on!

  89. love your new website and very much enjoy your humor in speaking the truth!

  90. This year, I am definitely working on my relationship. My fiance is being deployed in the fall, and although I know I cannot make our relationship fool-proof, there are definitely a lot of things that we can work on to make it as strong as it can be before he leaves. Love this website and love the advice!

  91. Genia Dumont says:

    I just want to spent more time with my family. Getting to know them better before they all leave the nest.

    Thanks for your wonderful books, which have started me on this path.

    Genia Dumont

  92. My biggest resolution for 2012…don’t sweat the petty things…and show more love to the sweaty things! (4 kids and a husband) I enjoy your books and I am learning more with every page I turn.

  93. My resolution is to win more contests.

  94. Sherry Lechaton says:

    Thanks Dr. Leman for the thought provoking post! My goal is to be swift to hear and slow to speak! I love my husband and son so much and a strong, loving family is so important to me.

  95. I was a no-nonsense parent starting 17 years ago, and I was thrilled to find someone who shared my parenting skills. I felt like I was the only parent out there who was a tough-loving parent. I am looking forward to your blog because, as a homeschooling mom of 3, I will enjoy sitting down at lunch to my “lap-top” break, and get a little wisdom, encouragement, or a kick-in-the-hiney. I met you some years back at Parkview Christian Church in Orland Park, IL . I do have to say, you are just as warm and funny in person as you are when you blog (tweet,FB). I now live on Saint Simons Island, Ga, and wish you would come to my church here. Maybe someday. Thanks for all you do!

    • Dr. Kevin Leman says:

      I loved Parkview Christian in Orland Park, One of the best churches I have ever attended….But let’s check out Saint Simons Island, have someone call us…520 797 3830!

  96. Love your site. We are newlyweds thus no children. Your Sheetmusic book was given to us as a bridal shower gift & we just love it. We strive to have “comments” that could be sent to you on a regular basis that say hey we got this one right & that one as well, referencing something from your book. Something we will continue into the new year. I love it when my hubbie says hey Dr.Leman would get a kick out that, referencing something we have just said :)
    Happy New Year, may you see that God Blesses all the time!

  97. Resolutions:
    1.) Health – Get more sleep each night, walk at least 8,000 steps per day, increase my daily activity.
    2.) Work – Get a job. Shepherd a new flock. Do it well.
    3.) God – Express my thankfulness in all things. Spend more time with Him daily. Live for Him.
    4.) Family – Talk more with my wife. Listen more to my family.
    5.) Cat – Nah… cat still gets my ignorance. Maybe next year.
    Scott Burk
    sab001 at g mai l do t com

  98. Thanks for all your great advice! God bless you and all your family in 2012.

  99. I resolve to be less arrogant and more humble.

  100. Angie Brey says:

    Hello Dr. Leman!
    I’m not big on resolutions, but I do have some goals for 2012:
    *Get into God’s word EVERY day (before the computer)
    *Continue to lose weight (actually enjoying it!)
    *Focus on relationships with my hubby & kids (Reading ‘Have a New Teen by Friday’ – love it!)
    *Get organized (an ongoing process)
    Not necessarily in that order…. :) Happy New Year to you & your beautiful family!

  101. Excellent blog. Packed with some good, down-to-earth information. One of my New Year’s resolutions is to read your blog every day — and following the advice. Thank you, Dr. Leman, for sharing your wisdom with us.

  102. Tracey Mitchell says:

    Why am I compelled to ask why and the need to know? But this I will work on and try to accept things as is.

  103. To journal more, and more deeply. To buy less ”wants” and concentrate on the ”needs” (and learn to discern between the two. And to get my emotional self in order so that I can pluck up the courage to take a course on writing for the magazine market. Maybe I won’t achieve these goals for a while but it gives me something tangible to strive toward. And hopefully Dr Leman’s timely wisdom from this blog and his books will help me along the journey.

  104. I have ALWAYS been a fan…since way back at MM days! My resolution this year is to now be so crazy “doing” all the time!

  105. my husband, our two daughters and myself have started a family devotion after supper each night. what a wonderful family time it is! we get to eat together and laugh together, then we get to grow spiritually together.

  106. Sonya Wiren says:

    Love the new site, Dr. Leman. Looking forward to 2012 and the sense ‘newness’ each New Year brings. No resolutions per se, but a desire to grow spiritually as an individual and as a family. We need more intentional relationships and less ‘flying-by-the-seats-of-our-pants.’
    Sonya Wiren
    slwwmail@gmail.com

  107. Cheri Cox says:

    My husband and I sat down on New Year’s Eve and made a list of things to “get done” in 2012. Reading more (Bible and other books) was high on our list. We have become complacent with the TV, watching Tivo’d shows and too many movies. SO this year we are going to sit in the living room, in front of the silent and dark TV while reading!!

  108. Angie McConnell says:

    I love the new website! I have so many hopes for this new year. Hope for better relationships with my husband and my children. I have just started reading Have a New Husband by Friday and I love it. I have enjoyed so many of your books.

  109. Lisa Marz says:

    Like you new site! Still thinking about the resolutions on being a better spouse, parent etc. Hoping that my resolutions to read the bible each day and exercise will help with above.

  110. Michelle Banks says:

    I am going to continue pressing in to God, continuing my daily devotionals & prayer time and working on being the best Wife, Mother & Daughter I can be for my family & for myself!! Love my family!! Blessings to you and yours!! :0)

  111. Lisa Baker says:

    Good advice and easy to use website.

  112. Started following you on Focus on the Family and have enjoyed ‘meeting’ you on facebook and reading your book about turning a mouthy, moody teen into a respectful, responsible one. Keep on dispensing your great advice as I’m trying to follow it…and that’s a resolution!

  113. I resolve not to lose mind while raising a teen. My prayer is for GRACE to overflow into me and OUT of me. I LOVE my son and my husband, but the teen years are a challenge.

  114. Dina Priester says:

    I resolve to hopefully let my child reach 16!!!!! LOL Love you and your books,wouldlove to see you come to Rochester NY!

  115. I have many resolutions this year, with the main ones, are to be more organized, and take care of myself better. I think many spouse resolutions can be made by just reading Sheet Music! My kids are still young, so I am still thinking of a resolution for them, they won’t be teens for many years! I am enjoying them being little while I can. :) The new website is great, very easy to navigate!

  116. Thank you Dr. Leman for all your wisdom imparted in your books which has helped me become a better parent. As you said it is not easy, but can be simple. It is hard to think that parenting can be simple. It has been has been difficult for my husband and I learn how to be parents after waiting for God’s great gift of becoming parents after 14 years of marriage. Thank you for another great resource in helping me becoming a better wife and mother. May you have a happy and prosperous 2012.

  117. Brea Cooper says:

    Nice site! Clean, simple layout with calming colors. Makes me feel more focused already :) My resolution is to have no resolutions. I always break them anyway. My daily goal is to smile at my children more and not get sucked into the drama when discipline inevitably comes their way. I also have a desire to be in closer relationship with God and to hug my husband at least once a day.
    breapert@yahoo.com

  118. Our 2 children graduate from high school in May. Then it’s off to college for both. My goal this year is to try not to beat myself up over parenting mistakes I have made as the kids go out on their own. I also want to renew my marriage relationship as we enter the empty nest. I don’t want to wake up one day and wonder who this man is. I want to keep it fresh!

  119. April Harper says:

    Wow, to be honest I have never heard of you!! But I am so excitited to read more about your views!

  120. I look forward to the transition of our daughter moving into her own home, just 7 miles away. Want to work on having an adult relationship with her.

  121. Clyde Kensinger says:

    Thank you for this blog.

  122. Tammy Miller says:

    I will try my best as a wife, mom and teacher to be more encouraging with my words! Thanks for encouraging families.

  123. Valerie Dufek says:

    Well I already started my resolution to learning how to deal with my 16 yr old better by reading your book “Have a New teenager by Friday” . But I think I have a long way to go. It is hard not to ask questions and also sometimes hard to come up with appropriate consequences. But I must believe we will build a better relationship.

  124. Read “Have a New You by Friday” recently… my goal is to keep working on applying all that to my life, to be a better wife & mom of 2 teens (+ a 20y.o. college student & an exchange student). I also want to keep working on decluttering my house and develop some healthier exercise habits.

  125. Anything written by you is definitely a good read!!

  126. Laura Jones says:

    Always enjoy listening to you when I have the chance and have read several books of yours that have been very helpful with parenting my children. You keep it simple, and that seems to be effective! My goal for the coming year is listen more to my kids and then respond. I tend to bark orders first!
    Happy New Year to you!
    Laura Jones
    ljones@gabrilson.com

  127. I heard you on the radio here in Seattle Spirit 105.3. I have enjoyed listening to you and would love to read more of your work. I posted 11 of my resolutions for 2012 on my Facebook page. One of them is to be the husband and father God intends for me to be. If you should bless me with this give away I will inturn bless others by reading it and then handing the book to another person so they can be blessed. May continue to Bless You.

  128. I resolve not to make any resolutions as I have ADD and cannot follow through very well!!!

  129. I am going to make new job boards for my four children. Not to be a task master; rather, the opposite. This will hopefully stop me from nagging them, make their expectations clear and set up rewards they can earn. I look forward to some peace!

  130. Janet Wilkinson says:

    I am going to try to be positive as a wife and mother!Thank you for your blog!

  131. I will Choose Joy this year.

  132. Irene Weeks says:

    Love that you have a new blog! My husband are trying to be intentional about praying over each other every day. We always prayed together at the end of each day, but we want to really pray FOR each other each morning… being specific about needs in our marriage, with our kids and things going on in our individual lives. I feel closer to him already and we are only on day 3!! Also, resolution to get out of debt before we turn 40 (both turn 40 in 2013!!)

  133. I plan on making healthier choices so that I can be strong and fit for my family. I also am thankful to have read a couple of your books which have really helped me in my parenting. I am seeing my relationship with my children grow as I become a better listener and more consistent in my parenting. I am thankful that God has allowed me to be a parent and I know that He will work in areas of my children’s lives in ways that I never could. I am in awe of His amazing love and faithfulness and how Jesus pursues each of us with an everlasting love. In the new year I plan to continue to learn and grow but also to pray…and pray some more for my children. Psalm 116:1-2 I love the Lord because he hears and answers my prayers. Because he bends down and listens, I will pray as long as I have breath!

  134. I am going to plan more intentional together time with my husband to do fun things that are a break from the routine daily living.

  135. Your words bring tears to my eyes, I feel convicted, and hope to change our family’s animosity to each other.

  136. Jill Oldehoeft says:

    Love the site Dr. Leman!!!!

  137. I love the website! For 2012, I am striving to be a spouse with more patience, a parent with confidence and wisdom and a grandparent who can grow with my grandchildren and share with them many of the lessons I can give them that they might otherwise miss out on!

  138. Single parenting is hard. Im resolving to use more vitamin E this yr!

  139. I love all your wise tips on relationships. The lord has been making it clear that His primary purpose for believers is to make disciples. I want to make sure that I disciple my children and grow in our faith together before they leave our home. I will also work at making more time for my wife and do fun things together.

  140. I’ve been a stay-at-home Mom for 21 years and have never been on a trip because we just couldn’t afford it financially. Last year in January, my husband found out that he has- at some point- suffered a silent heart attack. That news changed our whole perspective on things: especially with regards to making time (as a couple) to get away.
    On June 27 (this year), we will celebrate our 25th Anniversary!! We are so excited to finally have plans in place to take a trip. I cannot express how thrilled we are to be able to travel to the U.S.- something we’ve prayed about and pondered for years! Now that our eldest daughter is married and our youngest has finished high school, we have resolved to strengthen the relationship we have- not only as a couple, but also with Christ- who has been our Rock through so many trials. Our long-term plan is to make time to ‘get away’ so that together we can build a stronger faith- which in turn will create a stronger marriage- because we just never know what the next day holds…

  141. My 2012 res … Seek more outside knowledge on healthy child/parent relationships and tools.
    As a foster parent to teen boys, I am bombarded with what the state or case workers feel I should do/say/be/ how my home is run…and frankly its a 30/70 sucess rate that usualy leaves myself and own teenagers needs/feelings/concerns out of the picture and a casualty.
    There must be more effective and entire house hold heath answears out there…

  142. I have been so thankful through the years for your life message. So many times I would pull out one of your books to reset my thinking. So thankful for your website and blogs to be friendly reminders to value the quality of the relationships in my life with my husband and children. My life goal is to live the First Commandment but sometimes the theory of it all gets lost in the practical “how’s.” Your work… and I have a large collection of your books…. has been the voice of the teacher in my life to help me navigate the wonderland of parenthood giving me permission to be imperfect and to just keep trying.

  143. My husband and I are leading a small group for newly married couples. My hope is to learn right along with them so that our 19-year marriage can be all it was meant to be.

  144. Kris Love says:

    I would have had a resolution to be a better parent (spent the better part of aug/sept reading all your books I could find at the library) But I went from being a stay at home mom to calling on the abuse of my ex and having it turned on me. As a result, it ‘appears’ I’m losing my kids in court. If we ever get there. Its been 3 months an I have seen my kids twice. So, I’m basically close to giving up. You wanted honest…there it is. An abusive man is about to take over my kids… a non christian man. So much for courts wanting what is best even when the evidence is clearly before them I guess. No ‘first born’ tendencies are going to get me thru this one.

  145. This has been one of the best birthday presents ever. I need the encouragement that Dr. Leman sends my way every day and truly desire to be that encourager and builder to my girls and husband thru Christ.

  146. Venesa Ocasio says:

    My New Years resolution is to focus on being more positive with my husband and children! I have a critical lens and I know I struggle with that and it has been an issue within marriage! Thank you Dr. Leman for your wonderful advice and tips!! My email-Nezzer78@yahoo.com. I also posted your link to my FB page :)

  147. Melissa J Aguilar says:

    I love the new site! I resolve to have 2 new kids through the use of Vitamin E and N, among other things! I want to be a better example of God’s love and have my kids know that they are, not only, loved by God, but also, by me. I have been too quick to be on edge with them, as a single mom, and not encourage them the way God intended. I want to be a better Mom, Aunt & person this year and pack my kids bags with the things that will draw them and keep them in the love of God! Thank you for all the books of wisdom God has written through you! Be Blessed!

  148. This year my hubby and I will continue our weekly at-home date nights, but we are adding a monthly on-the-town date night, too! I’m hoping to continue to strengthen our blended family relationships. Can’t wait to see what this website will bring! Thanks, Dr. Leman

  149. I have a troubled marriage, with my husband not being a Christian YET, I am praying and working toward remedying that. Love the new web site, thanks for making it user friendly. God Bless. Penny

  150. 2012 promises to be an exciting year for my family – my husband and I will become parents this year! My resolution this year is to welcome our new little addition while still keeping our marriage a top priority. I want to remember this year (and in the years to come) that we decided to have children because we love each other. Our child is an addition to our family, not the center of it.

  151. Sara Fricke says:

    Love the new website, great pics of the family, Happy New Year Lemans!!

    • Dr. Kevin Leman says:

      Happy New Year to you guys as well! What’s really cool about these 5 kids is that they love each other and their old parentals….and they are all givers and not takers! Blessings, Cub

  152. Sarah Morrow says:

    well of course facebook is having “issues”. Do you have a book on patience, because I gotta get me some of that! Love your message in today’s blog, thank you for keeping my focus where it should be!

  153. Thanks for the great reminders Dr. Leman!

  154. Ruth King says:

    Want to listen to her more this year, dont ever want to be accused,” Mom you dont listen”.

  155. Dr. Leman, your simple advice has transformed my marriage. I want to continue making sure my husband is repsected, needed, and fulfilled at home. I am also working on the “say it once, turn around, and walk away” with my children. I love your new website. Will be bookmarking it in my favorites!!

    Happy New Year!

  156. Denise Chandler says:

    Love your new site!!! Thanks for all you do to help improve this crazy world!!!!!

  157. Thank you for all your wonderful words of wisdom! Relationships are of huge importance in my life and I always need to learn more to improve them. It seems there is always room to grow and it’s a good thing:)

  158. This year I will take care of myself. By doing this, I will feel better and, thus, be better to be with. Also …. be GRATEFUL that I have children who are really some pretty great people and, although they take a TON of effort, I am pleased as punch :> that they are “mine.”

  159. Tracey Harber says:

    Love the website!!! Will be checking it daily!!

  160. Beverly Chaussy says:

    I resolve to keep my mouth shut more often and just listen — especially with my spouse.

  161. This yr my Hubby and i are determined to dial down the stress and arguing with the kids all the time. gonna get rid of the butting heads and yelling so we’ve started reading new kid by Friday together. Thanks Dr Leman we r seeing results already!!

  162. More date nights…. more exercise (typing this as I just ate two little snack cakes!!!)…. really focus on priorities as I tend to be too much of a workaholic and worrier that I’m doing it right which usually/often means that I don’t really enjoy the whole process…. IF THAT even makes sense. Ha!

  163. I love this new site. I love your sense of humor. And am very grateful for your wisdom. I’ve posted on my FB site. And, I have often recommended your books to people. I’m a life coach and help people discover their personality strengths, so they can DO relationships well, so I’m grateful for your books … a valuable resource. Have a great New Year! May God bless you and your family in fresh and delightful ways!

  164. Thanks Dr Lehman for the wise words! I have two awesome young adult children who love the Lord and a husband who has dedicated his life to ministry. I resolve to be a better encourager and seek new ways to show my husband how blessed I am to be his wife. Keep up the great work! It is appreciated!

  165. elizabeth garrett says:

    We are a blended family. 11, 5, and newborn baby girl. My resolution to have patience with the blending process and not to yell when the patience is gone. Thanks for your books and insights.

  166. Beverly Negrete says:

    Great website.. Can’t wait to see all that’s coming. This year we are striving for baby #2. We will. Continue to Pay off bills to free ourselves up. We gave ourselves 5 years to complete. Year #3 it’s looking good.

  167. I’m always encouraged by you, Dr. Lehman. I have a long way to go, but I am glad I have your guidance.

  168. Stephanie Ong says:

    Dear Dr Leman, I’m from Malaysia. In 2006 my husband ordered How to mind your children without losing yours. We had used your DVD to facilitate parents group and it has helped many of us who had gone on to buy your books. Just want to let you know that my hubby & I had re-learn about parenting from your teachings. Never forget your quote from Josh McDowell, “Rules without relationship leads to rebellion.” Thank you so much Dr Leman, you have been a great blessing to many households in Malaysia. God bless you & your amazing family! :)

  169. Rose Cameo-Stewart says:

    Dr. Leman,
    I always make resoltuions to be a ‘better’ something…mom, friend, employer…and I think that my willingness to be better at what-ever has heloped me to attain that whatever because I sense a desire to ‘be better’…this year I felt impressed to read the Bible more, with intention to get to know my Savior better. It is Day 3 and I can see that my day is smoother and I am more ready for whatever comes my way…Thank you for being available to use your gifts for ‘such a time as this’ for this generation..We need your gifts and humor. Happy and Blessed New Year!

  170. Have listened to you many times on Focus on the Family and most recently on WWI
    B radio in WI. Always tune in when you are on. Love your tender yet firm and loving ways. Now have grandchildren which I hope to apply your teachings with. Thanks for the help and encouragement you always give. My resolution is to really listen to and spend more time renewing and growing my relationship with my husband. Love spending time with our grandkids too.

  171. I am looking forward to this year and simply enjoying my kids as much as I always have. I have six children from 16 to 5, 3 boys and 3 girls. New Year’s Resolutions are not for me. Any day I see I need to make a change, I try, with God’s help, to get on it. We need reformation every day! Thanks and I look forward to exploring the site!

  172. Steve Hyde says:

    Raising teens in 2012!

  173. karen dowbnia says:

    Thanks for your sense of humor and your insights…gee, you mean the Bible has it right?! …duh!!! So glad to hear your faith and your PhD can get along!! haha

  174. Great blog, looks great!
    You continue to help my family…thank you.

  175. Debb Oebker says:

    I want to do one small different thing each day that will make my husbands day better. I also plan to make sure I tell my daughter every day something special about her. Neither should be difficult at all. I love my family dearly. Thanks to your help I didn’t blow the whole thing years ago. Thanks for all you put in to families and marriage.

  176. Danny Parker says:

    Love the blog. I’m going to be my daughter’s Daddy, my son’s Dad, and my wife’s biblical husband. Thanks for your help, Dr. L.

  177. Cindy Tamming says:

    Love how your advice it so simply put, so rooted in the Word of God, and so easy to do. At our ladies bible study, Life Cafe, in Goderich Ontario last year we studied your value packed parenting sessions. Planning on investing faith, values and time in the three precious little women that God has given my husband and I to raise this next year! Thanks for the fun practical God honoring advice Dr Leman!!!!

  178. Your new website looks great! Love you sharing your family pics. Having read many of your books, I feel like I already know each of your family members. =) Looking forward to check this site out from now on.

  179. Janelle Bradley says:

    Thank you for your new website! I am eager to visit it often and love your books! My goal this year is to get healthier and to speak kinder to my family. I find it easy to get very impatient or even annoyed with my family and then answer that way and I plan to change that this year/month! Thanks!

  180. Hello, This blog is what I need. I hope you will give us much advise on raising children, it’s seems to be the most difficult challenge I’ve ever faced. I want to be kinder to my children and speak more positively. peacefulezfeelin@gmail.com

  181. I am vowing to be less critical and more generous with positive comments to my husband.

  182. Thank you Dr. Leman. Always appreciate your sound and insightful advice. Gonna try to keep it simple and authentic in 2012!!

  183. KAtie Jackson says:

    This year, just one of my new years resolutions is to figure out how to get the sticky fingers out of my 2 almost 3 year old. She steals anything from jewelry to candy, but her favorite thing to steal is money. I’m hoping that I can get to the bottom of this with a little help from YOU, DR. LEMAN!
    Sad thing is that I used to Bust shoplifters for a living (even did it when I was pregnant with her, coincidentally)

  184. Great blog! Thanks for the reminder to make my relationship with my husband a priority. Going to try to be more diligent about PRAYING for him this year.

  185. I have four children and always need to be reminded to take time out as a couple. Thank you for the reminder.

  186. My resolutions: Keep my sails out of my kids’ wind. Don’t react. Don’t react. Keep my mouth shut. Wait for the “why”. Accept imperfections in the people God has placed around me.

  187. Robin Bailiff says:

    This year: Keep it simple, have more fun, focus on MORE OF HIM…not my performance! Thank you for reminding me!

  188. Shanna Chaney says:

    My resolution this year is to choose joy in my life each and every day. I plan to take the time to invest in myself so that I can be the best wife, mom, grandma, and daughter that I can.

  189. Lisa McConnell says:

    This year my resolution, my goal, my intention is to be less hard on everyone!! Including myself. I find that I tend to forget that my kids need encouragement and smiles as well as discipline. I wear myself out with the small stuff, and so when the big stuff rolls around ( like disrespect) I dont have the energy to fight that battle. My resolution is to be a stronger parent, but also, a happier and calmer one!!!

  190. Looking forward to the blog and the new website is awesome. In 2012 I want to focus on the joy of being a spouse and parent and stress less thinking I must always have the “right” answer for everyone and every situation. I am going to be intentional about making “memories” with my granddaughters.

    mamidechicas2@yahoo.com

  191. Connie Weller says:

    Thanks, Kevin for your new blog. It is a great photo of your family. Steve & I were in Tucson on the 23rd of December, stopped at FLR and saw a few people we still knew. We were visiting our younger daughter near Phoenix for Christmas since we now live in Texas. My focus this new year will be to encourage our grandchildren and young people that I minister to through music, church , or neighborhood to love our Lord with kind words or notes in the mail.

  192. Love the blog! I want to work on honouring my parents, being a better big sister, and giving that critical eye a rest. fancynoodle@yahoo.ca

  193. I plan to E-N-J-O-Y 2012. Excited about the blog!

  194. My plan is to invest in music events. It improves me, my business and the relationships with those I choose to take.

  195. Renata Stahl says:

    I like the idea of putting time and money into my marriage! Also coming up with ways of doing things as a family like doing crafts together or games and puzzles.

  196. Sally Endestad says:

    Just discovered your books! They are wonderful – thank you! Keep them coming…..

  197. Teri Taliferro says:

    I resolve this year to listen more and to watch what I say.

  198. Michelle Hughes says:

    We have one easy teenager and one difficult teenager. We’re trying to apply your principles to get better responses from the difficult one, but we’ve had little success. The problem must be us! Not sure what to do when our daughter comes back to us for hugs with an apology after speaking harshly to us, or not doing what she’s supposed to do. Do we deny her affection? I hate to be cold toward her. My resolution this year is to figure out what to do and stop this yo-yo behaviour. We’re getting tired of it. Hopefully, with more reading, we can get figure out the right response. In the meantime, if you have suggestions, we’re eager to hear! Good job on the website and thank you for your work.

    • Dr. Kevin Leman says:

      Michelle, Don’t make this difficult….receive the affection and apology….but after that when she asks for anything, give her vitamin “NO”….don’t let her go there, or have money, or driven any place….don’t have an attitude, don’t get drawn into battle!

  199. I am striving to spend more quality time with my little ones. I also want to cultivate a more Christian atmosphere into my home.
    Thanks for taking the time to help us thing of parenting/relationships in a new way!!
    Kristy Pippins

  200. Thanks for all of your books Dr. Leman. They’ve been a great help. By the way, love that dog in the picture!

  201. Thanks for the great advice! My family resolution is to be more joyful and less hard on myself, lower my expectations a little and just enjoy my children.

  202. melanie freisinger says:

    love your stuff :) Used it with my youngest and am now passing it on to the grandkids! May God bless and keep you ~

  203. Hello, Dr. Leman. I just want to tell you that I’ve been reading your books over and over since I was sixteen, I’m now twenty-one. You’ve been such a huge part of my growing up. You’ve taught me so much. I can’t even count how many times I’ve loaned your books out to other people, or suggested them. Your birth order books have taught me about myself and helped me understand why I am the way I am…and why my partners have been the way they are. You bring a great education into my relationships and I just really want to thank you.
    Now for this new year, I’m just taking this year one day at a time. I’m going to try to not be so controlling in my current relationship and try to grow. I’m going to continue to pray.
    Again, I just want to say thank you so much for what you’ve done and what you continue to do to help people! You’re truly a blessing.

    Laurin

  204. Melanie Pike says:

    My husband and I are empty-nesters. Of sorts. Our son and his wife moved in with us late last February due to their financial circumstances, and they had a baby boy in late July; they’re hoping to get their own place in the Spring. It’s been tough, but even with your adult children, the parenting tips are great. Heck, they’re good for your marriage, too! We’ve been married 32 years and have 2 kids, with 4 grandkids.
    I resolve to be much more supportive of my husband (he has a tough job as an auto mechanic because he is hurting alllllllll the time, both mentally/emotionally and physically), especially as we consider the possibility of him changing jobs and taking a lower-paying-but-less-stressful job (which means I would need to find a job to help support us–I haven’t worked in nearly 7 years).
    I also resolve to (finally) read “Have a New You by Friday” because I feel I need lots of internal changes due to lifelong negativity and very poor self-image. I believe that improving upon me can help in all my relationships–with God, with family, with church family.
    Love the new website and this blog :) The pics of your family are wonderful!
    By the way, I am the youngest of 7 kids, but there are just over 4 years between the second-youngest and myself. He is definitely a youngest type with his crazy sense of humor! I tend more to the only child, at least to a certain extent. We love the birth order stuff, especially my daughter (the older of our two) and me!

  205. Hi Dr. Leman! Our resolution this year is to read 4 books a month on these 4 topics: Marriage/Sex, Parenting, Personal Growth and Finances. We each pick two. This month included Sheet Music for under the Marriage/Sex category and Have a New Kid by Friday for the Parenting category! A sincere thanks for writing these books. They have changed our lives and family for eternity! hndean@mts.net

  206. Love what you do! Everything you say, is said so well and is so easy to follow.
    I’m so glad to have found you while my little ones are only 2 and 10 months. And I can learn as they grow.
    mandahogg@gmail.com
    Thank you for being you!

  207. We met you in Winnipeg and purchased (and read) your book for the very first time. Life has changed, what can I say, other than THANK YOU!

  208. Love you teaching series, I am striving to be a better mother now that our situation is a little different due to the economy I went from being a stay at home mom to a full time working career woman/ wife /mother. Wow does it ever have it’s challenges!

  209. Love the new website! My goal in 2012 is to take it one day at a time, cherishing each day and what it has to offer. I want to spend more quality time with my husband and children…laughing more and stressing less!

  210. Nancy Croumlichn says:

    Thank you Kevin, I always want to improve my walk in life and understand people better. Wisdom and knowledge and understanding is worth more than gold. Your books have always had nuggets of truth that I treasure. I hope to find more in 2012!

  211. Martha Smith says:

    To get more organized in order to be a better wife and mother.

  212. My goal for 2012 is to focus more on my marriage as we are almost empty nesters. I would also like to get and read, Have a New You by Friday.

  213. My husband and I have resolved to appreciate our kids more. Less getting aggravated over the little things, and more appreciating what God has given us!

  214. I resolve to keep growing as a person ( but not physically ;) ., continuing to move the mountains I just don’t want to travel around anymore. Hope to live a life this year that makes the big guy upstairs proud to say he is my Daddy.

  215. shelly a. says:

    I am resolving to focus more on God & less on everything else. My commitment this year is to read through the Bible, something I’ve lacked consistency with in past years.

  216. Looking forward to watching your new site grow and touch the lives on many people.

  217. I am so ready for a stress free 2012, and through reading 2 of your books, my fiance and I have been able to understand each other more based on our birth order. Your information has been so helpful for us and our family, we enjoyed your seminar you did at the willow creek in crystal lake/huntley, il.

    Tat2pryncess@gmail.com
    Christa ohlrich

  218. Heather Rittenhouse-Philbrick says:

    If I’d have read your birth order book prior to marrying my first born control freak husband, Then I (a precious jewel only, who was actually raised alot like a last born (I found out I had three siblings from my dad’s prior marriage – I was the only one who didnt know about the marriage or the kids) would have thought twice about the union. It has been 21 years of what you called in your birth order book “Armeggedon marriage”. I just resolve this year to make changes and be brave. Not to settle anymore for someone who does not love me. 2012 will be a year of decisions and positive change for me. My eyes are on Jesus and I will move forward, making finally the life I have needed and desired for me and for my kids. It’s about time. Thank you!

  219. I love your books. I can’t wait to read more.

  220. I plan to spend more time with just my husband.and to have more patience wih my kids.

  221. My daughter’s school offered your books new this year in their ‘parent book library’ and I have checked out and read FOUR of them so far. I love it. I love this new blog and can’t wait to receive your tidbits in a fashion that is easily accessible and digestible. Thank you for everything! I hope to be able to go on the Cruise next year…

  222. Heather Arnelien says:

    Enjoying this!

  223. Thank you so much for writing books! Your writing is not only helpful, useful and practical, but it is also entertaining at the same time! I read “Home Court Advantage” last year, and since reading it, my husband and I have made many decisions that are better for out family. I am looking forward to continuing to strengthen our family in 2012 by making the right (and not always easiest) choices!

  224. This year I resolve to follow my head and not my heart. To recognize that peoples actions are their true thoughts and their words only have meaning when those words match their actions. To understand that when someone tells me that I am this way or that way, it’s a manifestation of their beliefs and those beliefs will guide how they treat me. This year I resolve to replace the kindness that I expect from others with kindness from myself.

  225. Krystal Thornton says:

    I resolve to learn to have more patience with… Everything. To listen more talk less. To read more, I feel the more I know about everything the more control I have. If you know how something works, when it falls apart you can easily, and quickly put it back together!! That’s my motto.

  226. This year I will try to work harder on helping my 6 year old practice reading since he seems frustrated he is not mastering it very easily. I will also try to make more home cooked meals and less take out meals in the car on our way to classes.

  227. Brenda Davis says:

    In our home we want to stop sweating the small stuff. The small stuff gets in the way of bigger things. We want to appreciate more, have more fun, and spend time together. My daughter will be going to college in the fall so I want to make memories this year!

  228. I don’t usally make New Year’s Resolutions.. but my husband and I had a really bad year in 2011 so I decided that in 2012, I will not focus on what is ‘wrong’ with my marriage but what is right’.

  229. Devona Booker says:

    To be more patient with my kids & spouse! Especially my strong-willed son, thanks for your parenting books, it’s helped keep my sanity these past few years!

  230. I have some goals in place for myself, my 3 boys and us as a family. Enforcing the chores and responsibilites is top of the list, to talk – not argue when disagreements arise, to work together to make family time a priority. we plan on having at least 3-4 meals a week at the dinner table and not in front of the tv and also want to implement a christian devotional time one day a week…i’m going to work on finding a book to read to them and then have open discussions about the lesson or teaching we read together. focusing on strengthening the family and putting god at the center of our world!!!

  231. My resolution is to consciously choose to be happier and enjoy my job so that my family can be happier too.

  232. Dr Kevin Leman, you are an amazing author and great teacher. A couple of things I take away from this article to start off 2012 is 1) If you have a critical eye– that is to say that you can spot a flaw, especially in the ones you love, in less than 10 seconds…. give it a rest! and 2) If you want to see a relationship with someone you love improve dramatically, in less than 48 hours, stop asking questions! Love the new website Dr Leman! Blessings to you and your family in 2012!

  233. I want to live a more balanced life:) Thanks for a great post. The new site looks great:)

  234. Love the article! I think myhubby ‘should’ read it – I ‘should’ print it out for him. LOL. Seriously, I want to work on relationships with others this year. I’ve let myself become way too busy with tasks.

  235. My new year resolution is to first experience the depth of Jesus’s love and pass it on to my children and pray more together as a family.

  236. Aneta Rude says:

    I love your books and my family has benefitted greatly from your advice. In the new year, I plan on focusing on giving each child and my husband quality time. I want to work to make my attitude and expectations more positive. I’m very excited about this new blog of yours and look forward to the pearls of wisdom you will be sharing with us. Cheers!

  237. Brenda Handy says:

    Love your new site! Always a big fan of yours. Hope you will be at Kingdom Bound again this year!
    This year I am working at trying to keep my Mother in our home as long as possible without getting too stressed or overwhelmed. She has Alzheimer’s. Your prayers would be appreciated. God bless you and your family!

  238. I want to have a more disciplined personal time with my heavenly father, and be more in-tuned
    to people’s needs and reach out to help them , living to glorify Him.

  239. Kari Penner says:

    This year is a continuation of my resolution last year to make my outside match my inside. I lost 40 lbs so far, 20 to go and with that has come a new relationship with my husband of 10 years. I will put God first, then everything else seems to fall in line!

  240. John Skelly says:

    Love the new site can’t wait to explore more of the information here. Question do you have tips and tricks for step families?

  241. Thank you!

  242. Thank you for your tips on relationships. I believe I heard an interview of yours on our Christian radio station up here in Canada and was glad to see this posted by a friend on facebook. I look forward to reading more!

  243. I love reading your books. Your advices are insightful and practical. This year, my goal is to understand and start practising your tried and true top 20 do’s and don’ts for surviving the wild ride of adolescence.

  244. Barb Lester says:

    Thank you for the positive helps for the coming year. I am finding more and more that I am that critical parent–time to stop!!! Also, I’m looking forward to reading your book about “Smart women know how to say no” (Not sure of exact title).

    Blessings on you:)

  245. Love the new site and the blog, have shared it 3 times already with people I know and then with the whole facebook world.
    Must remember to NEED my 4 yr old who shaves :)

  246. Deborah Gilcrease says:

    I’m so excited to find your new site Dr.
    Lehman! One of my goals is to give my
    middle child more one on one attention.
    I’m a mother of five. My oldest is 18 and
    graduating my second is 13 and well that
    explains a lot, my middle is 10, he’s the
    on child I have that’s not like a first born,
    he’s sweet ,very considerate and a peacemaker.
    My fourth is 3 and my baby is 10 mo. Everyone
    demands attention from me but my middle
    child. He just serves and doesn’t complain
    much. He told me recently that he hated bring
    the middle because no one ever pays attention
    to him. This makes me very sad because aside from
    the baby, my middle child is the most compliant.
    I desperately need your birth order book.
    Thank you for your ministry to families.
    In Christ
    Deborah
    book.

  247. Thank you for using the talents God has given you. My husband and I are working on reading Making Children Mind without Losing Yours. Next he wants to read about being a good father, and I need to read your book about my pleasing personality. My mom needs to read Having a new Tanager by Friday, but I can’t force her:)
    Thank you for this website and all you do!
    Jill

  248. This is my first time to your site..It looks really great, I am looking forward to reading more in 2012!

  249. trisha white says:

    i am reading your book have a new teen by friday. my goal for this year is to get to a new level …a healthy level with my special gift from God …my strong willed 14 year old. i am encouraged by your book. the past 6 years have been so difficult in this area. i have dealt with a chronic illness that has affected all of us and contributed to some frustration , anger and guilt. that combination in these hormone years has led to a slippery slop. i am committed to do my best on my part to fix this dilemna. it has been a God send and i will use your advice often.

  250. Great post!! My goal for this year is to continue to become the best mother and wife that I was attended to be. I have been working on this for twelve years, and my goal never changes.

  251. My most important New Years resolution is to be more in tune to my husbands needs. He is an amazing husband and has accepted a lot of responsiblity when we got married almost 2 years ago, stepping up to the plate to be the spritual leader of our family, an incredibly loving and compassionte husband, and Daddy that my 3 girls have always needed. I’ve never seen someone work so diligently in making sure a step family runs so smoothly, helping each child, praying with them, playing with them, loving them. In addition, we both have had to spend a lot of time with the newest baby girl in our family….who tried to come early and then was born with an eye condition that has already required 2 surgeries. My point in saying all of this…is that HE has spent SO much of his time devoted to us, and he does not express needs of his own. This year I want to learn how to observe his needs, even if he doesn’t express them…..and to honor and love him in the way he needs me to. We already have a wonderful marriage, but he deserves so much more! Thank you Dr Leman. My husband loves to read your books. I hope that I can win a copy…just for him! (And I want to read it too…LOL).

  252. Margie Warren says:

    I have enjoyed your books to help me raise my two boys while my husband was deployed for over a year and a half of their lives! I am so excited about this site and already telling my friends!

  253. Misty Wheeler says:

    I am striving to be a better mon in a house full of hormones and a better wife to my overworked hubby. I could use your help!

  254. I recently had my second daughter this summer and I am now at stay-at-home mom once again. My resolution is to be the best for them that I can. Give them a happy, fun childhood and be there as often as I can.

  255. I’m working on some of your parenting tips, especially 1 & 3. Praying the rest of my family learns those 3 words at the end of #2.
    Thank you for being so awesome, Dr Leman. Love ya

  256. my life is so much chaos. i so long for order and stress free relationships esp in my home. i need to be intentional and not just regret all that i do and should on myself. thanks for this reminder and i hope i can really put these thoughts into practise.

  257. Thank you for the reminders … we can all use them!

  258. Brooke Peck says:

    I am very thankful for all of your wonderful advise.

  259. Debbie Minkle says:

    I am ready to stop letting my 17 year old daughter run our house and create havoc in our family. Just finished Have a New Teenager by Friday and have started the transformation. Thank you for kicking my butt and relieving my guilt.

  260. I just had a good chuckle reading some of your website. You remind me of my own dad, but more importantly, of my Heavenly Father. Thanks for the Good News you are spreading! God likes to use people for His glory…as long as we’re willing to try! : )

  261. Eileen Deskins says:

    I’m excited to see that you have a blog… I hope it reaches more people too! I’ve loved your books about parenting. (Have a new Kid by Fri. and Have a New Teen by Fri.) I have twin duahgters that are 13 soon the ‘hormone group’ as you say has been quite a transition for us. The advice in the books has helped me tremendously but my husband isn’t a reader and isn’t so convinced. We can pray about that LOL! Also, not sure if birth order applies when thereis only 7 minutes betw the kids!

  262. 3 out of 4 sucessfully launched. I thought it was time to coast through this last ones senior year. Lesson learned: Parents never get a chance to coast, and its never too late to become a better parent by seeking out help.

  263. I love your “get right to the heart of it” attitude! I think I need to read “How to Have a New You by Friday” now! I need an overhauling LOL!!!!! Everything you say is so common sense and easy to understand. Love the website!

  264. I resolved to let Jesus grow in me, more of Him less of me..and to allow love to find me if God so wills this year :)
    looking forward to new things in Christ…

  265. Zeebusymama Heather says:

    I am a second born, but the first born girl and at the same time a middle child; who married a second born/baby boy! Which according to you is a FANTASTIC Match- I happen to agree!! 12.5 years under our belts, and some amazing adventures throughout! I love all you have taught me over the years about myself and our 4 precious children, and basically about everyone around me. I aspire to a godly wife and momma, but I don’t take myself very seriously! We love to have fun around here. My kiddos keep me hoppin’ as I homeschool my oldest 3 (9, 8 and 5), my delightful 2 year old BOY will cause all sorts of havoc, and in traditional baby boy fashion keep us completely entertained ie. Dr. Kevin!!! I have learned so much and love to share what little I know with whomever isn’t completely exhausted from hearing! Blessings on your new website, may it open your knowledge up to numerous new learners!

  266. my major goal this year is to give myself a break from perfectionism with my job as a wife and mother.

  267. Becky Prewitt says:

    Want to practice speaking some kind of encouragement to my husband and kids at least once a day. This is not my gift and I usually forget about it as soon as I decide to do it.

  268. Becky Prewitt says:

    FORGOT MY EMAIL in my previous comment.
    beckyprewitt@gmail.com
    Want to practice speaking some kind of encouragement to my husband and kids at least once a day. This is not my gift and I usually forget about it as soon as I decide to do it.

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