Why is my normally sweet teen suddenly cutting? How do I deal with my ODD kid and his health issues? You asked these question. Dr Leman answers them.
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Question #1: AUDIO Karen: “When my good girl turned 15 3/4, she started cutting. Why? What should we do?”
Answer:
- From the words used in the question, it sounds like the parents are controlling and perfectionist.
- A kid cuts, because she feels like it is the only thing she has control over.
- She feels like her entire life is controlled by others.
- She doesn’t feel the freedom to be who she is.
- Parents, especially people of faith, can struggle giving their kids freedom. Freedom to fail. Freedom to be themselves.
- Yes, see a psychologist!
- She isn’t telling you who she is.
- She feels she has an ideal she has to live up to.
- Your daughter needs to feel your love.
Steps to take:
- Go see a psychologist.
- Back off.
- Listen to her
- Let her know she is loved for who she is.
Question #2:
Hi there,
I’ve really enjoyed the Teen webinar, and got some great insight for the road ahead with my 11yo daughter!
I have a question for Dr. Leman for the podcast. My youngest (8yo boy) has been diagnosed with ODD. What are Dr. Leman’s thoughts on ODD, and medications (and side effects) related to helping with anxiety and depression for an 8 year old? Our son additionally has a digestive illness that limits his diet to less than 10 foods, and has always had anxiety relating to his numerous severe allergies. He does great in school, but once he’s home he lets loose with tantrums, door slamming, etc. Recently as his diet has been diminished, he’s refusing to drink the formula the doctors have prescribed to make up for the missing calories and nutrients. Alternatively he can be quite a sweet, loving boy. “Parenting your Powerful Child” has been very helpful, by the way! Thanks for all of your help and Christian references!
Fondly, Corie
Answer #2:
- What do you think about ODD? I think ODD is baloney. This sounds like a kid who hasn’t had proper boundaries. He is using his parents.
- If he can control himself at school, yet is crazy at home, he is using manipulative techniques.
- Let the doctor call your son on not taking the formula that he prescribed. Yet, make sure he gets enough nutrients.
- Kids will use food and health to hold their parents over the barrel.
- Develop a set of boundaries to control the behavior.
- If you continue to raise your kid in such a way that he gets to choose everything his way, you will raise an adult who will demand his own way.
- Use “B doesn’t happen until A” to get him to drink the formula.
Steps to take:
- ODD is baloney. Don’t buy it.
- If there is a disparity between his behavior in 2 spots, he can control it. Realize he can control it.
- Let the doctor demand the child drink his formula.
- Use “B doesn’t happen until A” to get him to drink the formula.
Announcements:
NEW Dr. Leman training-“What Every Parent Ought to Know about Talking with their Teenager.”
Bad conversations with your teenager will destroy your relationship with them. You can learn how to have great conversations.
The concepts are easy to understand and once you get the first positive results you will be hooked to Dr. Leman’s teaching.
Dr. Leman shares his tried-and-true method to having great conversations with your kids.
For more info, Click HERE.
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