Have you ever have had trouble parenting your multiples? What about integrating an adopted child into your family? I answer these questions and more in this episode.
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Question 1:
What advice do you have for parents of multiples? I’ve got almost-three-year-old triplets, and in general I find that they don’t care about my approval very much. I think this makes discipline really tough–I don’t seem to have much leverage. As long as they’ve got each other, the rest of the world doesn’t matter. My friends with both singletons and multiples tell me they’ve found the same thing. Any general guidelines?
From, Carrie
Dr. Leman’s Answer:
- These kids get attention in many ways, and people are often telling they are special.
- They work mom and dad over.
- Twins (multiples) are a family within a family.
- They require double work.
- Use the same principles in parenting:
- Everyone is an important part of this family
- We all contribute
- Don’t give in
Question #2:
My husband and I would like to hear about integrating the child into your home especially with other children at home.
We recently brought home a toddler from Ethiopia. Our adopted at birth 6 year old is having a tough time with her. We are all stressed by some of the issues this little one has. For example she is addicted to meals and food in general. She has never been deprived of food as she has always been in an orphanage. But her day revolves around food. She throws tantrums about anything she doesn’t want to do. Some of it normal 2 year old behavior some of it simply strong willed.
So I guess we would like the after adoption information.
Thank you,
Lisa
Dr Leman’s Answer:
- Don’t treat the toddler special. Treat them like you would any other child. For example, “Yes, you may be scared, but there is nothing to be afraid of.”
- In relation to the older child, make sure you give the older child their “birthright”. Tell him that he is up later that the toddler because he is the big kid here.
- Note: I would never advise you to adopt a child that is older than the youngest child in your family.
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