As a parent, what do you do if you find inappropriate content on your child’s electric device? How worried should you be about your kid making friends in the first grade? These are the two questions which I will answer in this podcast.
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Question #1
I just now got a call from the Junior High, that my son has in appropriate searches on his IPad. My son is 13 and has ADHD, in which he takes medicine for. The searches were done at 4:45pm last night, in which he was home. I ran up to the school to find him in the principle’s office where I found Ben hyper-ventilating insisting that he did NOT do this!!! The principle showed me that these were intentional searches and not pop-ups. Ben is the only child left at home now, and I was giving his Dad a haircut at this time. He has lied to us many times in the past, I know this is another lie. How do we deal with this pornography caught child, without heaping guilt on him? His Dad and I don’t know what to say or do. HELP!!!
Dr. Leman’s Answer:
- Go ahead and use a little guilt. It would be a good thing!
- Establishing trust with your child is important. If you find that you have no trust, then there are other opportunities coming up in the future, that you will want to make sure your kid knows he will not have the privilege of. An example might be driving your car.
- One remedy to the trust issue is to use lots of Vitamin N on things that he is used to doing. Explain that you cannot trust that he will actually be there. He has broken your trust.
Question #2
Good day Dr. Leman, first of all I want to say I love your podcast and find your advice so logical and simple. Not always easy to apply but it makes sense. It definitely resonates with my heart and the way I want to parent.
Now for my question. My oldest son Lucca (age 6) will be starting Grade 1 next year. Out of his kindergarten class of about 24 kids there are only 2 going to the same school as him, one being his best friend, which is great but obviously I have no guarantee they will end up in the same class. I am a bit worried about how he will respond to being in a class filled with new “friends” as he can be shy at times, and like me, slow to warm up to new situations. I do not want to get to involved or mother him, so planning on leaving the ball in his court, but I would love some advice on what kind of things I can say or do to assist him emotionally should it prove to be a hard transition for him.
Thank you for your time.
Regards Mieke
(all the way from South Africa)
Dr. Leman’s Answer:
- This is a first-born son, and new things are scarey to first-borns.
- Consider if you can influence having his best friend in his class.
- Play smart! Pack extra goodies in his lunch that he can share with potential “friends”!
- Don’t let him see your apprehension. You stay positive.
- Don’t let him play the victim card.
Announcement
The next session is about Dealing With Adult Children at Home. If you have a question or thought regarding this topic, please leave us a voicemail for the next session. It must be under 30 seconds for the podcast. We reserve the right to use your question on the podcast. (This is NOT a private voicemail for personal counseling.)