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Do you have a child that just won’t get off the coach and play with the family outside? Are you going through a separation and don’t know how to parent in the middle of it? Dr. Leman answers these questions with his usual wit and wisdom.

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Question #1 Vivienne:

My 13 year-old daughter won’t go on a walk with the family to the beach. She won’t get off the couch and keeps the family inside.

Dr. Leman’s Answer:

Well, Vivienne, your daughter is using purposive behavior to get what she wants. In essence she is saying, “You are not in charge of me.”

But, sooner or later, she will want some money, or a privilege.

You, the parent, “hold the aces” and through respect, can hold her accountable, give her little privilege, and show her that she is not in charge.

Question #2 Britt:

How do I parent through a separation process?

Dr. Leman’s Answer:

Divorce hurts everyone. The best thing you can do is stay close to the kids.
Here are a few tips:
1. NEVER badmouth their mom.
2. Don’t confide in the kids.
3. Don’t get caught up in a custody battle. They should live in one spot.
4. Listen to the kids and don’t make value judgements on their venting.
5. Don’t ask the kids questions about their mom.

Parent with love and tenderness through this time of intense hurt.

Some books mentioned in today’s podcast and we highly recommend reading are:
Have a New You By Friday
The Birth Order Book
Have a New Husband By Friday
7 Things He’ll Never Tell You… But You Need To Know
Parenting Your Powerful Child